In our minds, we are constantly writing scripts for ourselves and the world in general. These scripts may sound like “I should act this way; people around me should act in this manner; things should be done this way in order to be right; I am not deserving of love”. These scripts are actually the source of disappointment, depression, and disillusion we may experience in life.
These scripts are created from our own childhood experiences. Things that we have been taught from our family of origin. Thoughts of how things will be either the same or different once we are on our own, living independently. Often, without consciously realizing it, we are manipulating others, trying to get them to live the scripts we have created for them. When we superimpose our scripts upon another person it distort who they are. We create what we need and rarely, if ever, see them for who they really are. This leads us to disappointment, and often separation from that person when they free themselves from our imposed script.
It is true that we recreate our deepest childhood wounds in our relationships. Our life scripts have set the scene. Without consciously knowing it we employ other people to recreate the pain we suffered growing up. If you were abandoned, you will undoubtedly set the stage to be abandoned throughout your life. Your life script tells you that you are somehow flawed and do not deserve to be loved, honored, or respected. However faulty this thinking is, we recreate this in our lives until we reach the power source of the connection deep within our soul and pull the plug, destroy it, never allowing it to reconnect.
We imprison others with our efforts to keep them under our control. Fulfilling our script and not allowing them to be, feel, or display their true self to us. We are busy seeing and creating in our own mind who we want that person to be to meet the needs of our script. Our ego finds a false sense of power or momentary gratification when it feels it has gained power over another person.
The challenge, rewriting our script and not imposing it onto others. Telling ourselves and truly believing that we are capable of being loved, nurtured, respected and honored by another human being, but most importantly ourselves. We have to let go faulty scripts we hold onto from childhood. We have to allow our significant others to be themselves, not what we want them to be to meet the needs of our script.
So, you’re probably asking “How do I rewrite my script?” This requires letting go of past habits and behaviors, requires awareness, commitment, and risk taking. You can break the pattern of a cycle by following a few simple steps:
- Teach yourself to “stop” then choose, instead of choosing without thought.
- Determine what you want to create and set your intention.
- Clarify your values and principles.
- Share you intention with someone, ask for assistance and periodic feedback
- Journal your experiences in choosing. This can be helpful in tracking your progress.
- Become accountable. Claim your power, use your wisdom, and create different results.
Nearly everything flows from a single, simple principle; the way you feel emotionally, arises from the way you think. Your feelings come from your beliefs. Changing your beliefs or scripts will allow healthy emotional growth and ultimately a happier, healthy you.